Logan
by Marcelle Hvidsteen
Summary: Raven has been gone for about a year and a half when Beast Boy stumbles over Rachel Roth. She looks just like Raven with one exception. She has a daughter. IMPORTANT! Chapters 7, 8 and 9 are alternative ending. : !
1. Chapter 1

Rachel Roth stirred as the alarm clock went off, and she swore under her breath. She rose and stretched. Then she heard a faint cry and went smiling into the bedroom.

"Hi Logan, you're up early."

She picked the baby up and nuzzled her. Logan yawned and her green eyes blinked up at her mother, smiling. Rachel carried the baby into the tiny bathroom, and changed her.

"Are you going to be a nice baby today?"

"Ga."

"Good for you."

Rachel placed the baby in the pin as she took a quick shower. She dried herself of and put on jeans, and a blue thin sweater.

She heard knocks on the door.

"Are you ready Rach?"

"One sec Cassie."

She picked up her daughter and opened the door for her best, and only friend, Cassie. She was a beautiful girl with long blond hair, blue eyes and looked like any normal teenager.

"You have everything?"

"Yeah, let's go."

She went outside. They walked down two stories and knocked at the door to her day-care nanny. An old woman smiled as she saw who it was.

"Hi Logan. Rachel, Cassie."

The woman almost blew her of as she took Logan and closed the door.

"Why do you let her treat you that way?"

Rachel shrugged as they went out on the pavement.

"She's kind to Logan, and with my fixed income it's not like I can go anywhere for a nanny. Besides I'm used to it. I'm 19 and a single mom. Trouble."

She chuckled. Cassie sighed.

"I would never have been so nice as you. I would have told that lady of long time ago."

"As I said, I don't have much choice. I choose to put up with it, for Logan."

"You are like the best mom in the world."

Rachel laughed again.

"Can you tell Logan that when she gets older please? She will just think I'm hopeless and boring."

"Boring? You? Never."

The girls laughed again.

"Cassie, get down."

Rachel threw herself at her friend to get her down as bolt of light flew at them. Cassie tried to get up, but Rachel held her down as a new bolt made the house next to them shake.

"Watch out."

Rachel just got to look up as the house started to fall down on them. She froze. All she could think about was Logan. Sweet, young Logan with big green eyes. What would happen to Logan now?

Suddenly a green elephant stood over them, protecting them from the stones that fell down. Rachel had only seen him on the news, but knew his name. Beast Boy.

He morphed back to a man, and Rachel could feel Cassie start to smile. Cassie was a star junkie and a big time groupie. It wasn't her fault, she just loved everything that was in the papers on a regular bases. Thou it helped that he was handsome.

"Are you okay?"

The girls nodded.

"Beast Boy, his getting away."

Robin, on a motorcycle drove beside them and shouted at him.

"On my way Rob."

He turned to the girls once again.

"Be more careful next time, okay?"

They nodded, but he froze. He and Rachel's eyes had meet, and he was stunned.

"Raven?"

"No. I'm Rachel."

She gave him her hand, but he just stared at it. Suddenly explosions made the ground move.

"You better go help your team."

He swore under his breath as he looked behind him. He looked once more at her before he morphed to a hawk and flew of into the air, but still then he looked back.

"Oh, someone got the green kid smitten."

"Come on, you heard him. He confused me with this Raven character. I wonder who she was."

The started to walk towards the school once again before Cassie stopped.

"What?"

"Could it be his old team mate Raven? She disappeared a year and half ago. It was before you came to town, it was quite a ruckus. Actually, you kind of look like her."

Cassie's eyes widened, before she started to laugh, along with Rachel.

"Yeah, can you see me as a superhero. Juggling Logan and school I barley have time to hang out with you, and I'm going to save the world."

"Right."

The girls walked down the road and up the stairs to their school. College, freshman year. Cassie gave her a hug before she ran of. She was taking mythologies, and was already late.

The day was over almost to quick. Soon she was sitting out in the sun, waiting for Cassie. She had a book, so she wasn't bored. On the contrary, this was one of her favourite times a day. She didn't even look up when a shadow fell over the pages.

"Raven."

She didn't stir. She recognised his voice, but didn't look up.

"Still ignoring me Rae?"

"My name is Rachel Beast Boy."

"So you do remember me."

She sighed as she looked up at him. He had the biggest grin possible.

"You're green and a superhero, not easy to forget. You saved my friend and me this morning and for that I'm grateful, but I only know you from what I read in the paper. You are kind of a celebrity."

His grin faded.

"So you don't remember me."

"I think you are confusing me with someone else. Can you move? You're blocking the light."

He grabbed her arm. Rachel got startled, but for some reason she wasn't scared. She didn't know why. Something just told her he wouldn't hurt her.

"Can you let go of me?"

"No, you have to remember. Come on Rae. Please remember."

"As I said before, you are confusing me with someone else. Now can you let go of my arm? You are starting a commotion."

"I don't care."

"Are you okay Rach?"

Rachel smiled thankfully to Cassie and the two boys following her. She had never been so glad her best friend was the biggest flirt on the school. She looked back at the green boy.

"Yes. Beast Boy here just wanted to be sure we were okay."

Beast Boy let go of her arm. He then morphed to a hawk and flew away.

"This is Rex and Tex. They have volunteered to walk us home so we don't get another house on us."

They where big, muscular, and completely alike. How boring, she thought, but she didn't want to offend her friend, so she grabbed the arm offered and let him lead the way.

"So you girls want to do something later?"

"Yes."

"I'm very flattered, but I have a date."

The boys didn't seem too upset.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Well, talk to you tomorrow."

She waved the threesome away, and smiled gratefully for having an excuse to not go.

Most teenage parents say that not having a normal social life is the hardest part, but Rachel was glad to not go. She wasn't a party girl. She ran up the stairs, got Logan, and went up for her stroller. She wanted to get some more fresh air, before it was dark.

--

Beast Boy paced back and forth in the common room. He couldn't be wrong. It had to be Raven. She even smelt like her. Like herbs, ink and fresh clothes. Only Raven had that smell, and that's way she had to be Raven.

"Can you calm down Beast Boy, I'm getting dizzy just looking at you."

"I can't calm down, I finally find Raven, and you guys don't believe me."

"It's not that we don't believe you Beast Boy."

Robin, the political one.

"But you did see Terra after her disappearance too."

Starfire, the unsure one.

"You better be careful Star, or he'll get a crush on you, and then you'll have to run away too."

Cyborg, the jerk.

"That was uncalled for."

Robin laid a protecting arm around his girlfriend, who looked honestly scared. Beast Boy was just hurt. He started to pace again. What could he say to convince his friends?

"Tell you what. Get this girl to come here, and we can take a DNA test. We still have some of Ravens blood."

Beast Boys face lit up.

"That will prove I'm right."

Robin sighed.

"But how do I get her to come?"

"Just tell here you won't bother her any more if she does."

Beast Boy grinned as he morphed and flew of. His friends made a sigh of relief. Finally they got some peace and quiet.

He flew over the town; suddenly realising he didn't know where she lived. He cursed himself, when he got an idea. He landed at her school, and went into the reception. He was quite famous now, and the receptionist was fluttered when she saw him.

"Titans. Oh my. Is there anything I can do for you and your team today?"

He leaned over the counter and gave her a grin that almost made her pass out. God, he loved being famous.

"Yes, we are looking for one of your students. Can you help me out?"

He took her hand.

"It is, of course, very important."

The old woman blushed desperately, and turned to the computer.

"Okay, of course. Name?"

"Rachel…"

Beast Boy froze. He didn't know her last name. He cursed himself.

"There are 264 Rachels in the school. You don't have a last name do you?"

What would Raven use as a last name. What was her mother name, Roth? Yes, Roth.

"Try Roth."

Beast Boy was quite proud of himself for remembering that detail. Especially since she had told him years ago.

"Yes, we have one Rachel Roth. Do you want her address?"

"Yes please."

Hold on Raven, I'm coming.

He knocked on the door. The door opened and Ravens face popped up.

"You again. You know, there is a law against stalking."

"Please, just hear me out."

"No, now get away before I have to call the cops."

A baby's cry stopped them both from uttering another word.

Raven turned her head back into the apartment, and before she could turn back, Beast Boy morphed into a mouse and ran into the apartment. Raven turned to close the door, just to find him gone. She found this puzzling, but made a sigh of relief before closing and locking the door.

She turned and walked into Logans room.

"Hi baby, what is it? Can't sleep?"

The child smiled sweetly to her mother, and made her heart melt.

"You are going to drive me made one day. You're just like your father."

The child nuzzled for a second or two by her mothers chest before falling a sleep once again.

She smiled sweetly before placing her back in the bassinet, and walking back into the common room. She didn't mind giving her daughter the bedroom when she could only afford a two-room apartment. She pulled out the bed in the couch and lay down, with a small smile on her face.

--

Beast Boy looked smiling at the sleeping woman. Carefully he straitened a loose strain of hair. She was still as beautiful as the last time he saw her. She was different. Not so calm. But she glowed. Something motherhood had given her.

Motherhood. He turned and walked into the baby's room. She was a mother? How? He looked down at the smiling girl. She looked just like Raven. Was that why she ran, disappeared?

Or did she get pregnant after she left? The thought of Raven in bed with another man made Beast Boy almost crazy. Suddenly he felt the urge to hurt the sleeping girl. She was the child of a competitor. But Beast Boy stopped. He took a step back, away from the girl.

She had opened her eyes, and looked straight at him. Grass green eyes. His eyes. The girl was his. She stirred and smiled sleepy at him.

"Don't wake up now. If your mother finds me here."

The girl opened her mouth. Beast Boys eyes widened. If Raven found him here, then he would never know if the girl was his.

I pure desperation morphed Beast Boy into a pterodactyl, and carried the child away. He needed to know if she was his. Or at least he could prove that her mother was Raven.


	2. Chapter 2

Rachel woke up with a cry. She knew something was wrong. She didn't know how she knew, she just knew. She ran to the bassinet and screamed as her worst nightmare became true. Logan was gone.

Rachel couldn't breath. She fell to the floor, blinded by her tears. She grabbed the sprinklers in the crib so hard her hand started hurting. How? Who? Suddenly a green face popped into her head.

"I'm going to kill him."

--

"You kidnapped her baby?"

Beast Boy had never heard Robin so mad. He was pacing back and forth, not knowing how he could punish Beast Boy for this. Cyborg was just sitting staring at him, while Starfire was trying to calm the child down.

"But you don't understand, she's mine."

"You kidnapped some poor woman's baby, after first harassing her about being Raven. This is over the line Beast Boy. You broke the law."

"Robin, I think she is my kid."

Robin was just standing in the middle of the room, his anger fuming at the green boy in front of him. The child's cries didn't help.

"Star can't you calm her down."

"I think she's hungry Robin. What do earth bumgorf eat?"

"Breast milk."

Robin and Beast Boy had a faint blush as Cyborg just looked at the girl Starfires arms.

"Nice Beast Boy, not only did you steal the woman's baby, but now we have to starve it."

Beast Boy looked shamefully down as he started to see the many faults in his plan.

"Can't you just take a DNA test?"

"No. You have pestered the woman enough. I won't let you take tests on her child. Where does she live? We need to get the girl back to her mom."

Beast Boy just stared at his leader. Why was he giving up so easy? He had given him proof that Raven didn't just exist, but also a motive for why she had disappeared.

"Robin."

"Her address Beast Boy."

The doorbell interfered any of them saying anything else.

"I'll go. I don't want to see this anyway."

Cyborg rose and went to the door. Suddenly a woman darted through the door and ran past the two men. She took the baby girl, and made a sigh of relief.

Slowly she turned towards the two men and if not for the child in her arms, she probably would have killed him.

"You."

She pointed at the green man.

"Next time I see you near me or my daughter I will call the police."

She was shaking so hard she almost fell over. As the kind person she was, Starfire offered the woman a seat, and she accepted. She looked down at the crying child, and without caring about the men, or maybe to make the men embarrassed, she pulled up her sweater and started to feed the baby.

"I just want to apologies, on the behalf of the team miss"

"Roth. Rachel Roth."

Robin was set back by the name. He too, remembered the name of Ravens birth mother. He also had to admit that the woman sitting in front of him looked just as Raven, but he knew it couldn't be. Raven was gone.

--

Rachel looked up at him and smiled. Now that she had her baby, safe, warm and eating, she had calmed down.

"I know it's not your fault. But I would recommend keeping better tabs on your team."

They both looked at Beast Boy, who blushed.

"Because I will call the police next time. Being a superhero doesn't mean you are risen above the law."

"I do agree, and again I apologies. He will be punished. Trust me."

Again the two looked at Beast Boy, who now was scared.

The girl was finished eating, and was now nuzzling in her mothers warm embrace.

"If you please, what is her name?"

"Logan."

A bang made the girls' turn there head and look at Beast Boy, who was now sitting on the floor. The chair he had been sitting on lying on the floor. Beast Boy thou were just staring at them.

A bit uncomfortable Rachel turned her head back to Starfire.

"She's named after her father. He is my best friend."

"Where is he now?"

"Africa, with his parents."

A new crash made the girls turn their head.

"Are you okay?"

He just stared at her.

"I think I should go."

Starfire grabbed her arm, and stopped her from moving.

"Please friend, don't care about Beast Boy."

"But his staring."

--

Starfire didn't want her to go. She hadn't really talked with another girl since Raven left. Of course she had the other titan girls, but it was hard living so far away from them. And she hadn't much luck with human girls. She was still unsure about the rules and conducts about girl behaviour, and girls where ruthless for those who were different.

Rachel wasn't like that. She didn't care that Starfire was weird and different. She was patient, open minded, and nice. Starfire had missed nice. She didn't want the girl to go. Didn't want to lose her new friend so quickly.

"Beast Boy, please stop steering at friend Rachel."

"She's Raven Starfire."

"Okay, it's time for me to go now."

She rose and smiled to Starfire.

"We'll talk later okay. Just don't bring him."

Starfire nodded, the biggest grin on her face. Rachel smiled to Robin and Cyborg before walking out the door taking a big step to avoid Beast Boy.

"Bye."

The door closed behind here before Starfire rose in anger towards Beast Boy.

"Why did you scare her away?"

Beast Boy just looked at her, not knowing what to say.

--

"That was rude B."

"I don't want to hear that you have bothered her again, do you hear me."

Beast boy just steered out into nothing.

"Beast Boy."

"She looked wonderful, didn't she?"

Robin made a little yell of annoyance. He grabbed Beast Boy by the collar and forced him to look into his eyes.

"Raven left Beast Boy. Raven left of her own free will. Raven wasn't kidnapped or anything, she left."

Beast Boys eyes became blank. Robin let go of his collar seeing he had finally gotten the picture. Starfire and Cyborg looked sad at their friend.

"Why?"

"I don't know. She wouldn't say, and I didn't dig. I know better than to force someone to tell me something they don't want to say. Especially when it comes to her."

Beast Boy fell to the floor. His legs just didn't want to carry him anymore. Starfire and Cyborg left, knowing he was about to cry, and not wanting to embarrass him more than need to.

"Why didn't she tell me?"

"I don't know."

Beast Boy thought about there last day. She had been different. Quieter. She looked more at him, and her touch had been softer. She had even smelt him, he now remembered; surprised he had forgotten that detail. She had bent over and smelt him on the neck. When he had asked her why, she only smiled and changed the subject.

She knew. She knew that it was their last time together. Why hadn't she told him? He wouldn't have let her leave if he knew. Beast Boy felt something warm hit his arms. They where wrapped around his knees. Now he rested his head on them. His crying filled the room, and Robin let him cry. Like she had let him cry when she said good-bye to him.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"She asked me not to."

Beast Boy still sat on the floor, his tears wouldn't stop flowing.

"So you are not to bother Rachel anymore Beast Boy. She can't be Raven. Even though she looks like her."

"But…"

"No buts. Even if she did want to be a titan anymore, Raven isn't a person to pretend not to know people. And why would someone play tricks on her mind after she left?"

Robin left, and Beast Boy didn't care. She was gone. She was really gone. He felt like he would never stop crying.

--

"Hello Starfire."

Rachel opened the door, but froze as she saw the green coloured man.

"I thought I asked you not to come near me."

"Yes, but I just want to apologise. I confused you with another girl, and that made me do some very stupid things. I'm sorry."

She wanted to slam the door in his face. He had kidnapped her child. He deserved nothing. But she saw how he was falling apart. How broken down he was.

"You really miss her don't you?"

He looked at her, and his eyes were watery from tears not shed.

"You have no idea."

"Then come in."

She led then in to her tiny living room/bedroom/kitchen.

"Can I offer you something?"

"Okay."

"Oh yes please."

They sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry I don't have much."

She sat down a kettle of warm water, three cups and some crackers.

"Herbal tea?"

"Yeah, I hope it's not a problem."

The two shared a strange look.

"What?"

"Nothing friend Rachel. Herbal tea will be nice."

Rachel sat down; a bit uneasy because of the look they had shared.

"Nice place."

Rachel looked around. It was a dump.

"No it's not. But it's kind of you to lie for me."

She laughed, and Starfire joined in, not quite knowing why she was laughing thou. Beast Boy was looking at a drawing behind her.

"Did you do that?"

Rachel blushed.

"Yeah. It's something I do. Not worth much, but its my type of meditating."

Beast Boy rose and looked at the girl sleeping in her bassinet. Logan with out a doubt.

"You're really gifted."

"Thank you."

Rachel took something from under the table.

"Sit down."

Beast Boy did as he was told, and she started drawing the couple. He detail work was phenomenal. His pinched ears, and fangs. Starfires hair looked so real, he could almost feel how soft it was.

It was like she had studied them for years, not just met them. Starfire was so happy she jumped up and down. Beast Boy was just star struck. It was so lovely. Breathtaking.

"Keep it."

Rachel leaned over and gave him a smile he had dreamed about for years. The sad part was, that the girl giving it wasn't the right girl. His smile weakened.

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry, but you look so much like her."

She knew he wasn't going to push it. He had finally accepted she wasn't this Raven girl. But it made her sad to see how much he must have missed her.

"Tell me about her."

She crossed her legs. Taking a sip of her tea. Starfire and Beast Boy shared a look.

"If it's not to painful."

"No."

Beast Boy leaned back and rested his head on the backside of the couch. Starfire started to play with her hair. Rachel looked from one to another. Starfire started.

"Friend Raven was dark."

"Dark?"

"She was the daughter of a demon, and the powers he gave her made her dark. But she was very nice, smart and patient."

Starfire looked at Beast Boy, who had closed his eyes. It was like she was talking to him, not Rachel.

"And complicated. You never fully understood her. But she was a good friend."

He let out a chuckle.

"Complicated. That's putting it mildly."

"Beast Boy."

"She was an annoyance. She always made fun of me. Pocked me. Lashed out at the slightest thing. Never laughed at my jokes."

"So why do you miss her?"

Beast Boy looked surprisingly at Rachel. She just took a new sip of her tea.

"Because I love her. She was my best friend. She never turned her back at me. She never made me feel like I was anything but normal. Human."

He hit the couch as he realised he was sobbing. He shut his eyes tight. Rachel pretended not to see, and Starfire started weep as well. Rachel gave her some tissue and told her to wipe her eyes.

Crying was heard, and Rachel rose.

"Can I do it?"

Rachel looked hesitantly at the tameranian girl. Then she smiled.

"Okay. She's probably just hot; she is starting to get a fever. Just pick her up and wash her with a wet cloth. It's in the bathroom."

The girl ran out of the room, and Rachel immediately regretted it.

"I can't believe, you scolded me for taking her. But you let Starfire handle her as much as she wants."

"You took her without me knowing. Thank you for reminding me."

The two just sat there and looked at each other.

--

"I'm sorry."

She smiled and apparently forgave him.

"It's okay."

She looked down on her cup as she took a new sip.

Again he was stuck about how much she looked like Raven. It almost hurt. It did hurt. He wondered why she hadn't told him. He still remembered everything about her. It haunted his dreams. He woke up sometimes, drenched in sweat, screaming her name.

He opened his mouth to say something when Starfire called out for her.

"Friend Rachel, I need some help."

With a small smile she got up, placed the cup on the table, and walked out of the room. When she came back she was nuzzling the girl, and she looked from the girl to him, and smiled. Beast Boy's heart stopped beating for a second.

He had seen that image, a long time ago. In his dreams. A dream that Raven was nuzzling a child, her child, their child. She looked just like Rachel did now. She took a step closer to him and he rose, then the doorbell rang. She turned and walked over to the door as Starfire came out of the nursery.

"Cassie?"

"Yeah it's me silly. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, come in."

She moved and a beautiful blond girl came in. She was the type to walk into a room and grab it immediately. But his gaze was still drawn to the woman next to her.


	3. Chapter 3

"He did what?"

Rachel smiled and placed an arm on her friend to calm her down. They were sitting around the table, Logan again sleeping, and she was telling Cassie how she had met the others.

"And you allow him to come back in. If it was me I would have…"

"He had his reasons, and he didn't harm her."

"You have no idea how lucky you are Rach is the nicest person in the world."

He grinned and looked at her. Rachel suddenly felt flustered and hid it behind her cup.

"I'm starting to get an idea."

"Trust me Cassie is exaggerating."

"No I'm not."

"True we have only known you for a few days friend Rachel, but I do not believe friend Cassie is doing the exaggerating."

She rose, her hands were shaking and it took all her power to place the cup down on the table without spilling the content.

"I have to check on Logan."

"I didn't hear her."

Without answering Rachel almost ran out of the room. In the safety of the walls dividing the rooms she leaned against one of them, and folded her hands hard against her body. She didn't understand why she was loosing control. She closed her eyes and breathed heavily.

"Are you okay?"

She opened her eyes and looked into Beast Boy's dark green ones.

"I don't know."

He looked worried at her and her heart skipped a beat.

"So how did Cassie let you check up on me? You're not her favourite person right now."

"She and Star started to talk fashion. They didn't even realise I left."

He grinned and her heart skipped another beat. She smiled up at him. He looked down at her. It skipped another one. Suddenly Logan started to cry, and Rachel looked away. Ashamed. She walked over to the basinet; picked her up, sat down in the white rocking chair Cassie had given her for her birthday, and started to feed her.

"So how long as he been away?"

Rachel looked up and saw he was looking down at the floor, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"A long time. He left before I knew I was pregnant."

"So he doesn't know?"

She shook her head and looked down at the child.

"How could he leave you in the first place?"

Her heart started to ache. How many times hadn't she thought the same thing?

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head again, and looked up at him. Giving him a tiny smile.

"The truth is he got a wonderful opportunity to study African wildlife, and I was happy for him. He was so excited, and I supported him because it was important for him."

Logan stopped drinking, and Rachel burped her before placing her back in the bassinet. Logan grabbed her finger and Rachel smiled down at her.

"He travels around, and there is no way of me to contacting him. I only get the usual letters were he tells me of the wonderful things he is learning, the people he has met, the things he have done."

"That seems unfair to me."

She turned around without letting the baby let go of her finger.

"For who?"

"Both. Don't you think he wants to know his daughter?"

Rachel looked back and smiled. Logan had now fallen asleep but she was still gripping hard around her finger.

"Maybe. He's happy thou. And to be honest, I'm happy he doesn't know. You see, and I know it sounds selfish, but I want him to come home because he wants me. Not because we have a baby together."

"He would be crazy not to."

Rachel had finally pulled her finger away from the sleeping baby, and turned around just to find him really, really close. Her heart stopped beating all together.

"And when it comes to me, Logan is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I had never thought I could love another person so much, wanted, needed someone so much as I do her. I don't care that some people treat me as if I was sick and highly contagious. She completes me in a way I didn't believe was possible. I wouldn't change a thing if that meant losing her."

He grinned.

"I have an idea. What if we go out tomorrow? Everyone. I know this child restaurant down town. They have games, a ball pit, a child menu, everything."

Rachel couldn't help laugh, and placed her hand over her mouth so Logan wouldn't wake.

"She is a little young to go in the ball pit."

"No ball pit?"

He looked like a hurt puppy and Rachel had to laugh even harder. She grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the room. She turned and looked at him.

"Fine. We'll visit the ball pit."

He grinned again before running out of the house. Starfire and Cassie rose and looked just as surprised at the door as Rachel. After a few seconds the door opened again and a bit embarrassed Beast Boy opened the door again.

"Star we are leaving."

"We are?"

"Yes. Come."

They said their good-byes and a bit confused Starfire followed him out the door.

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know."

She turned and sat down on the couch.

"So are you going to tell me what happened to Tex Mex?"

"Rex and Tex."

Cassie sat down and started to talk and Rachel just let her voice surrounded her.

--

Rachel looked over her shoulder as Beast Boy jumped into the ball pit. The children weren't just overjoyed that their heroes had come to the restaurant, but that Beast Boy was playing them made them scream more than normal.

"Is he always like that?"

"Pretty much."

She looked at Robin and smiled. He was sitting next to Starfire, who was holding Logan. Logan was an angel, as always.

"You look good with a child Star."

Cyborg grinned as he said that, and Robin turned quite pale.

"Oh yes. Our own little bumgorf, wouldn't that be lovely."

"Shouldn't we think about marriage before children?"

"Oh Robin was that a proposal of marriage?"

Both Cassie and Cyborg had to turn away they were laughing so hard. Robin got even paler as he looked at his smiling girlfriend.

"Uh, well, you see, the thing Star…"

"What?"

"Robin I need some air, can you please keep me company?"

Rachel just looked as Cassie mouth the words _party pooper_. She didn't care. Robin jumped to his feet, looking really relieved. Before anyone, especially Cyborg, could say another word Robin grabbed her arm and almost pulled her out of the restaurant.

"You still need to talk to her about it."

"Maybe. But at least you have bought me some time. Thank you."

Rachel smiled and walked to the edge of the playground and leaned on the railing. It had a view over the city, and Rachel had always loved it. She felt the fence move again and looked up as Robin lit a cigarette.

"Aren't you supposed to be a role model?"

"Am I?"

His voice was dripping with sarcasm and she couldn't help but laugh.

"This and coffee is the only thing keeping me from going mental on an everyday basis."

"So why don't you just quit?"

"That's like asking me to stop breathing. This is who I am, and I love it. I can't imagine another life."

He looked into her eyes, before he got a weird look in his eyes and turned away. She sighed.

"Raven?"

"I know you aren't her, but you sure look like her. You act like her too."

Rachel felt odd. A knot in her stomach. She didn't know why.

"It's a compliment. Raven was… wonderful."

"Ex?"

"No. Even thou the papers debated it. They actually debated whether I should be with Starfire or Raven."

Robin closed his eyes and looked like he was concentrating on keeping calm. He opened his eyes, and it was like he was looking on something miles away.

"I knew you would come back."

Robin and Rachel looked over their shoulder as a girl about eight or nine with dark hair and eyes came towards them. The girl pulled on Rachel's dress. She bent down to the girl's level, and saw that her eyes was sparkling.

"You are back aren't you?"

"Who do you think I am?"

"Raven. From the teen titans. I knew you would come back."

Then the girl placed her arms around the woman. Rachel almost cried as she pried the girl's arms of.

"I'm very sorry, but I'm not Raven."

"Oh. Sorry for bothering you."

Then the girl turned and walked back into the restaurant. Rachel rose, and turned away from Robin as she carefully dried her tears.

"What happened to her?"

"I don't know. She came to me and said she had to leave and that there was nothing I could do to stop her, and there wasn't."

"How could she leave so many people behind?"

"Knowing her, it was probably something important. It always was."

He finished of the cigarette, and they walked back inside. But Starfire met them in the door. She held Logan, who was screaming.

"She is warm."

Rachel took her, and her heart was beating quicker. She placed her wrist on the child's forehead. She was burning up.

"Is there a pharmacy nearby, I need a thermometer."

"I have one."

Cyborg pressed a few buttons, and an ear-thermometer came out of his arm. He put it in her ear, and soon it beeped.

"Not good. She has a fever of 41,5"

Rachel got pale, and pressed the unhappy child to her chest. Beast Boy had come when he saw the commotion and now he ran to the cashier, before running back with a towel.

"Ice."

The towel was indeed filled with ice. Rachel held it against the child as Robin took charge.

"Starfire call the hospital, Cyborg start the car and drive it to the entrance. Beast Boy"

"I'll get more ice."

Robin nodded. Soon they were all in the car. Rachel was trying to calm the girl down as Cassie and Beast Boy held ice against various places on her body. As they walked through the hospital door someone dressed in white took the baby from her mothers arms and carried her into a white room. Rachel tried to get to her, but a nurse told her not to come closer. All she could do was watch from the door as her only child was surrounded by dozens of doctors and nurses.

She didn't even react when Beats Boy placed an arm protecting around her.

"She'll be okay Rach."

"I just feel so helpless."

"I know."

Rachel couldn't help crying as the nurses pulled for the curtains.


	4. Chapter 4

"In bottom line, Logan is very sick."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course. Just follow nurse Ratchet there."

Rachel hadn't realised she had held Beast Boy's hand before she let it go to follow the nurse. Soon she was gone and Beast Boy turned to the doctor again.

"How is she, really?"

"As I said, she's sick, but she is a fighter."

"Yeah she has that from her mom."

"You're the father?"

"No."

"I know this might be unpleasant, but does she know who"

"Yes she knows who the father is."

The doctor looked a bit scared, but Beast Boy didn't care.

"He's in Africa."

"That was a new one."

"What do you mean?"

The doctor just looked down on the chart. Understanding a bit too late he had crossed the line.

"I asked you, what do you mean?"

"Well…"

"Now?"

"It's just, when a teenage mother doesn't know who the father is she usually make something up. But I have never heard of one in Africa."

Beast Boy didn't understand what had happened before he was holding the doctor up against the wall. He heard running before Cyborg and Robin tried to pry him of the doctor.

"BB you have to let go."

"Think of Logan. Killing her doctor doesn't help her."

He dropped the doctor and just looked at him. Cyborg grabbed him and pulled him out of the hospital.

"Damn B, what happened?"

"That quack dared to say that Rachel doesn't know who the father is, and has just been lying when she said he was in Africa."

He passed back and forth, clearly upset.

"She isn't Raven."

"What? I know that."

"She isn't Raven."

"I know."

He was screaming.

"I know Rach isn't Raven. Raven's gone. She left me. I know."

He stopped, and just looked down. Cyborg placed a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder.

"You know Rae. She had a very good reason to do what she did."

"Probably, but I would like to know what."

He started to breath normally. Robin and Starfire came up behind them.

"Adonis is going berserk down town. I need all of you."

"I don't want Rachel to be alone."

"Cassie is with her."

Beast Boy nodded, knowing him worrying for Rachel and Logan couldn't stop him from doing his duty to the city.

"Adonis picked a bad day to mess around."

Then he morphed to a hawk and flew off, the rest of the team following him.

--

"How is she?"

Rachel couldn't pry her eyes away from the thing in the bed, almost more tubes and machine than baby.

"She doesn't grip my finger anymore."

She was crying, but didn't care. Cassie, wearing the same green hospital clothing as Rachel, sat down next to her and placed a friendly arm around her.

"Where are the others?"

"Something down town. They had to leave."

Silence. With the exception of the machine now breathing for the child and the wind blowing outside.

"Maybe you should try contact Alex."

"Alex? Why?"

"He's her father."

"And what do you want me to say? Hi Alex, remember me, the girlfriend you left behind to study animals in Africa. I forgot, we have a child together, and she is dying."

She angrily dried her eyes with her free hand.

"Wow."

"What?"

Her voice was harder than anything Cassie had ever heard before.

"Nothing, it's just, for as long as I have known you, you have never said a mean word about him. On the contrary you have defended him and his choice with all that you've got. It's just weird to hear you lash out at him."

"She's dying. Our daughter is dying, and because he found African animals more important than me I have to go through this alone."

Cassie cried, and laid both arms around Rachel. Without letting go of her daughter's hand she placed one arm around Cassie and cried against her shoulder.

"I begged him not to go, but he had to. One year. Just think about all the things I can learn in one year. He is a liar and a jerk for putting me through this alone."

"I agree Rach. He is a jerk and when he does come home we can throw things at him to punish him."

She made a sound between a laugh and a cry.

"But you know you aren't alone. You have me, Starfire, Cyborg, Robin, Beast Boy."

Cassie started to pet Rachel's hair, and soon the crying was calmed down to a gentile sob.

"Why did he leave me? Why wasn't I enough?"

"Because he is a stupid jerk, who don't know a good thing when it bites him on the nose."

New sounds between laugh and cry.

"Oh Cassie, what would I do without you?"

"Sit alone with your new titan friends all day long I guess."

They were both laughing now. Rachel moved her face so she was facing Logan, but still resting on Cassie's shoulder.

"I'm so scared."

"I know, but it will be okay Rach. She'll be okay."

--

The room was dark, and only the occasional car light passing by gave any light inside the room. But Beast Boy didn't need more than that. He quickly walked around the bed and sat down next to a sleeping Rachel. He looked at Logan. Her eyes started to twitch before she slowly opened her eyes. Beast Boy was mesmerised by the young girl's firm stare. He didn't know if they looked at one another for a few minutes of hours, but he couldn't look away before the girl closed her eyes again.

"Rach wake up. Logan looked at me."

With some trouble Rachel opened her eyes, before his message seemed to get through. She quickly looked at her daughter, just to be disappointed.

"She's sleeping Beast Boy."

"She was awake. She looked straight at me. I swear."

Rachel yawned before pushing the call button.

"I believe you."

Then a young nurse with black hair came in, bringing her all the yellow light of a ceiling pear.

"She woke up, get doctor Roberts."

"I'll call him right away."

Then the nurse left.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For not letting her wake up alone."

Rachel smiled at him, and Beast Boy felt his heart stop beating for a moment.

"And thank you."

"What for?"

"For believing me."

"Of course. You're my friend Beast Boy."

She took his hand, and he felt chills go through his entire body.

--

"Sakutia."

"What?"

"She suffers from sakutia."

Rachel couldn't understand. She had barley heard of the disease.

"And you are one hundred present sure."

Rachel looked at Beast Boy and thought he was strangely pale.

"Yes."

Beast Boy swore, before sitting down. The three other titans shared a look. Cassie seemed just as clueless as Rachel.

"Have you been to the zoo or has Logan been in contact with any African animals?"

"Not to my knowledge."

Rachel felt all the blood rush from her face.

"What is sakitea?"

"Sakutia is a deadly, very rear, not contagious, disease."

"And you say Logan has this sakatia?"

"Sakutia. Yes. But the odd thing is that isn't what's making her sick."

"It's not?"

"No it's the antibodies, which she also has."

Rachel was confused, as was, by the looks of it, everyone else.

"So she has this disease, but it's not the disease that is making her sick, but the cure."

"Yes. You know how your body gets sick sometime when you get a vaccine. It's sort of the same principals."

"But will she get well."

The doctor looked down, before shaking unknowingly on his head.

"I don't know. This is the most peculiar incident I have ever seen. A person has both the illness and the cure in her system, naturally. I think she is her own safe bet. So we are going to keep her here, keep her warm, feed, watch her vitals and just wait."

Rachel nodded, before looking at her daughter again. Beast Boy took an unwillingly step back, towards the door. Rachel looks up. Her eyes blank.

"You are scared of her?"

"No."

"Then why are you sneaking out the door?"

Beast Boy looked unhappy at the three others titans, to the girl in the bed to Rachel.

"I… I have sakutia."

"What?"

"I have sakutia, and the antibodies to go with them. They are kind of the reason I have the power to morph."

"You made Logan sick?"

Rachel rose. Her eyes glowed with rage, and Beast Boy started to shake. Half of fear, half of guilt.

"Answer me Beast Boy, did you make Logan sick?"

"I don't know."

"Get out."

Her voice was ringing, making the room shake.

"Get out Beast Boy before I throw you out."

He didn't answer, just skulked out. The rest of the team following quietly. The doctor left too, without a word. Rachel sat down, her body shaking with fury and sorrow, before turning to her child.

"Rach?"

"Just go away."

"But Rach."

Cassie tried to touch her, but Rachel just brushed her of.

"I need some time alone Cassie."

"Okay, if that is what you need."

Rachel ignored how thick Cassie's voice was, before she rose and left the room. First when the door slammed shut behind her broke Rachel down and cried over Logan's sleeping body.

--

"Robin I need a word with you in the sick bay."

"But…"

"Now."

Robin sighed, kissed his sleeping girlfriend on the forehead before leaving his bedroom and walking down the hall to the med bad.

"What?"

"Look at this."

Robin walked over and looked at the screen Cyborg was looking at. DNA. He sighed.

"I thought we agreed not to test Logan or Rachel."

"You agreed, but come on you have to agree that Logan getting the same disease as Beast Boy is a heck of a coincidence."

"So is she?"

Cyborg shook his head.

"Rachel isn't Raven."

"I knew it."

"But I did find out something odd."

He moved something around and suddenly something flashed green as two identical DNA streams were pulled one on top of the other.

"Guess who is the father of Rachel's child."

"I give up."

"Beast Boy."


	5. Chapter 5

"Can you repeat that?"

"Rachel and Raven are not the same persons, thou they are similar, so I would guess a cousin or something like that. Rae always said her looks came from her mother, and we don't…"

"Get on with it."

"Rachel is Logan's mother."

"And Beast Boy is the father?"

Cyborg nodded. Robin had to sit down on the closest bed as he looked at the four DNA streams on the computer. Rachel, Raven, Logan and Beast Boy.

"So Beast Boy is the reason Logan is sick."

"Hello, that's not the issue, Beast Boy, our Beast Boy, is Logan's father."

"I guess we have to talk to him."

"You think?"

Robin looked at him, and Cyborg calmed down. Robin sighed before talking up the communicator.

"Beast Boy."

"…"

"Beast Boy!"

"I'm up. Who? What?"

"Med bay. Now."

"Now?"

"Now."

He closed the communicator, before sighing again.

"I really wish Raven was here now."

"You're not the only one."

It took twenty minutes before Beast Boy was placed in the med bay, finally wakening up.

"Whom have you slept with?"

"What?"

Beast Boy just looked like a question mark. Cyborg was sitting on the chair, not saying a word. Robin was standing a few feet away, looking directly at him.

"How many girls have you had sex with?"

"That's really none of your business."

The hostility between Beast Boy and Robin grew.

"How many"

"One. Raven."

"And you are sure."

Beast Boy got to his feet.

"Yes I'm sure."

"You were pretty lost when Rae vanished B."

Cyborg just looked at his friend.

"You drank a lot, and maybe you slept with someone and don't remember"

"I'm sure. I have only slept with one person in my life, Raven. What is going on?"

Robin and Cyborg looked at one another before Robin sighed.

"You are Logan's father."

"What?"

"You share DNA identical with Logan, proving you are her father."

Beast Boy sat down, clearly confused. Robin and Cyborg feel sorry for him.

"How?"

"As Cy said, you were quite lost after Raven… left. And Rachel does look like her."

"I have not had sex with Rach."

"How can you know? Most afternoons you'd get here and couldn't tell us where you have been or how you even got home. You would go and be away for days. You really think it's not possible you slept with Rachel and don't remember it?"

Beast Boy looked down on the floor, desperately trying to find something, anything, that would seem right. Logical. He cursed himself for not being smarter, and wanted Raven to come back so she could explain things for him. He looked up.

"If I had sex with Rachel, how come she didn't tell us? Or me?"

"Maybe she doesn't know, maybe she honestly believes her boyfriend is the father."

"But if she and I had sex, shouldn't she remember?"

"You don't."

Beast Boy looked at the screen.

"Maybe Rachel is Rae after all."

Robin screamed out.

"No she is not. See. Rachel, Raven. Not the same person. Can't you see? You missed Raven, got drunk, thought Rachel to be Raven and slept with her, and now your child, your daughter is sick."

"Daughter."

"Yes your daughter."

Robin sat down next to him, much calmer.

"No matter how she was created, or who her mother is you need to talk to Rachel."

"I guess."

He rose.

"Are you sure? There could be something wrong with the machine"

"Beast Boy."

"Or the specimens."

Cyborg sighed.

"I have run it several times, with several samples. You are her father."

Beast Boy nodded, before turning around.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to the mother of my child."

"Now?"

Beats Boy stopped and looked over his shoulder, smiling.

"No time like the present."

Then he left.

--

Rachel opened her eyes and looked at the black form in the doorway. Even in the darkness, she knew who it was.

"I thought I told you to stay away."

"You did say that. Why?"

He came into the room, and his face was dark with shadow. Rachel made a short sound common to laughing, but not quite.

"Is it your fault Logan is sick?"

He closed his eyes and for a moment sadness and guilt was shown on his face, but it quickly went away.

"Yes,"

"Then don't you think you have done enough damage?"

"but not the way you think."

He was standing on the other side of the bed, looking straight at her. It provoked her.

"What do you mean, not the way you think? I don't care how you made her sick, you made her sick. Her pain is on your hands."

"Her life too."

"If she dies, yes."

"If she lives too."

Rachel was confused, but would rather die than let him know that.

"I'm her father."

"No your not."

"Yes I am. Cyborg tested her. Us."

"So? These things are never one hundred present."

She leaned back, sure she had won, but still hating the way he was studying her.

"I'm her father."

"No your not."

She didn't even realise she was screaming.

"Her father is Alexander Logan Markson."

"My name is Garifeld Mark Logan, you don't find that odd at all?"

"No, because you are not her father. Her father is in Africa. Now get out."

"No."

The volume and the seriousness in his voice silenced her. It felt so out of character. He looked at her again, before looking down at Logan, then at her again.

"And the only way I can be Logan's father is if…"

"Don't say it."

"you are Raven."

She made a sound of annoyance and looked away.

"I'm not in the mood to have that discussion Beast Boy."

"You have to be Raven."

She rose, screaming.

"I'm not Raven."

Suddenly, before Rachel could notice, he was standing beside her.

"You have to be."

She was scared and desperate. Her voice was weaker, but still strong.

"I'm not."

He grabbed her hands, and she fought to make him let go. He wouldn't.

"Come on Rae, you are stronger than me, a better fighter. You can easily force me off."

"I'm not Raven Beast Boy."

She was crying. A faint light, most likely from the moon, came through the window and landed on his face for a moment. Rachel wanted to scream, but her voice was silenced.

"Let go."

"Remember me Rae. Please. Remember me. Please make me feel normal again. Please give food taste. Fire heat. Music sound. Please love me the way only you can love me, for only you can look past the animals and find the man. Please. I can't do this without you."

He fell to his knees, still clutching her hands, crying, his face down.

"Please. Please. Please."

"Oh Beast Boy."

She sank down to her knees. Like him.

"My poor Beast Boy."

He felt her hands starting to pulsate and looked up. Her entire body was glowing a bright yellow light. He looked into her eyes, not being able to say a word. Even her eyes were replaced by light. Trembling his fingers went up her arms, suddenly smooth, before landing at her chest. There was no heartbeat.

"Raven?"

"Soon."

She gave him a small smile. He couldn't breath. He couldn't think. He couldn't anything, but process that information.

She was back.

Raven was back.

He smiled as new tears formed in his eyes, as he tried to take all of her in at once.

"I told everyone you were Raven."

Raven's smile saddened as she grabbed his hands and forced them down.

"I was, and I wasn't."

"I don't care, I have you back. That's the only thing that matters."

"Bea"

He cut her of by kissing her. Wrapping his arms around her, forcing her body against his. Carefully she placed her own arms around his neck and kissed him back. They pulled away.

"Beast Boy you don't"

The room lit up, making Raven's light feel dark. Her face showed fear as she rose and looked at something. Beast Boy rose quickly too.

The figure was glowing as Raven, only much brighter. It looked like a woman. She was standing over Logan.

"No."

"You knew Raven."

"Leave her out of this."

Raven was trembling as the creature reached down and grabbed the sleeping child off the bed.

"Let her go."

Suddenly the light Raven was exhuming was replaced by darkness, and she shot a beam towards the light woman. She looked up and Raven was pushed against the wall. Beast Boy tried to react, as Raven had, but found himself unable to move.

"Please don't take her."

Raven was crying, but didn't pry her eyes of them.

"You knew."

Then they were gone. Beast Boy suddenly found himself able to move and he ran towards the hall.

"It's useless."

He turned to Raven, who had stopped glowing, and ran to her side as she sank to the floor. Tears running down her cheeks, the room shaking.

"She's gone."

"Raven it'll be okay."

She looked at him, and the pain in her eyes was unlike anything he had ever seen. He suddenly felt like he would do anything to make it go away.

"Why did you have to push it? Why?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Raven, look at me."

Raven's gaze wondered slightly to look at him for a second, before turning again towards the sea. Beast Boy wanted to cry, but he just slowly rose.

"I'll be inside, okay? If there is anything, anything, even something small and unimportant, just call. Okay?"

Nothing.

Beast Boy turned as the tears became too much and forced themselves out. He slowly went to the roof door, not breathing, hoping, praying she would call out his name. Say something. But she didn't, and he opened the door and sulked his way down.

"How is she?"

Starfire flew up and towards him as he entered the common room. Both Robin and Cyborg looked his way too, equally curious.

"Nothing."

He sat down and buried his face in his hands. He was used to ruin her life, but he knew he had really done it this time.

He heard a cup be placed on the table and looked the coffee Starfire had just given him.

"Thank you."

The three other titans shared a look, before Robin spoke.

"We've called Cassie."

Beast Boy's face hardened. He hated thinking about Rachel, and the life Raven had lived without him.

"What can she do?"

"We don't know, but maybe something. Something we can't do."

Cyborg sat down next to him.

"It's been a week B. Raven's sick, she's not eating, she won't talk to anyone. If Cassie can help her we owe it to Raven to try it."

"We owe Raven nothing."

Beast Boy rose. Angry. At himself. At Cassie. At Raven, Cyborg, everyone and everything.

The doorbell rang, and everyone looked at the door. After a few seconds with no one doing anything, flew Starfire through the door, down the hall and to the door. Letting Cassie in.

--

Beast Boy looked at the two women talking. He was standing in the doorway leading to the roof, his head resting on the frame. He hated them. He hated that he couldn't hate them.

"She looks better."

Robin came up behind him, he too looking at the two women.

"I guess."

"I think you are pretty selfish now."

Beast Boy started to yell.

"Selfish. I'm selfish? After everything she put me through, everything she has done. I'm selfish? But of course you would stick up for her. You always do."

Robin's voice was calm, but his eyes vibrated with anger.

"She's my friend Beast Boy, I would die for her. Like I would for you. And she's just lost a child, she has the right to be upset."

"And I don't, in case you hadn't noticed Robin, I lost a child too you know."

"But you didn't know her. Raven did. And keep your voice down."

He looked at the women, and first now realised Beast Boy they were looking at them. Raven had tears in her eyes, and as their eyes met she looked away. He turned his back to her.

"I'll be in my room."

Then he stampede off.

--

He was looking up at his ceiling and the pictures he had fastened there. All had Raven in them. There were cutouts of the newspapers. Pictures taken at events and pictures he had secretly taken of her. Including one were she was looking at the camera, after he had promised the camera didn't have film. He lied.

A small smile formed on his lips.

After she had…gone, the first six months. He couldn't look at them without crying. Then the crying went inwards and turned into a lump in his chest. Threatening to suffocate him at any second.

He had always thought if she came back, then the lump would go away. He would be happy again.

But all he wanted to do was cry.

The smile vanished.

For the Raven that was sitting on the roof, wasn't the same Raven that was trying to not be photographed.

This Raven was a mother. A mother who had lost her cub.

He knew some people didn't believe animals mourn when they lose someone, but he knew it to be different. Especially when it came to mother and child. He knew Raven had every right to be sad.

He just wished she wasn't.

He just wished he didn't feel loss over this girl he barley knew.

Someone knocked on the door. He didn't move. The door opened and he could smell Robin from across the room.

"You better come."

"Why?"

"She's in the common room."

Beast Boy rose; hit his head, before falling back to the bed. He closed his eyes and let out a yell, before trying again. This time getting out of bed.

Quietly they walked down the hall and as he opened the door she looked up and for the first time in ages held his stare.

"Hello Beast Boy."

Her voice, it was so similar to the voice she had before they became an issue. Before the dance, and his stupid song, and her saying she loved him back.

But he could tell that if she had been allowed, she would have cried.

"I owe you an explanation."

"You think?"

He didn't care that Robin hit him in the back. That Cyborg shook his head, that Starfire gasped, and Cassie looked like she would kill him. He only cared that in Raven's eyes pure pain could be shown for a moment. It broke his heart, but not his appearance.

"I guess I deserved that."

He didn't answer.

"Okay. Logan is your daughter."

"Yeah, we've established that."

"Don't be short at me Beast Boy. I didn't know I could be pregnant until I sat in the doctor's office. To be honest I thought it not to be possible."

He softened, but tried not to. Raven took a step forward, still looking at him.

"I would have lost her, if I hadn't done what I did. And do you know what? I'm happy actually."

He hated arguing with her since she never showed her emotions and just rationally debated him until his head heart and everything he once believe was proven false. But this time he wouldn't let himself lose. He wanted answers. She continued.

"I knew you wanted children."

"I never said that."

"No. Not in those words, but I knew. And please don't insult my intelligence by denying that."

She looked down, and he could tell she was losing control.

"It killed me. Knowing you wanted something I couldn't give you. I hated it when you started to talk about our future together, because it involved things that couldn't be."

Her cup shook and she placed it down on the table. Breathing slowly with closed eyes.

"And then it happened. I got pregnant. And something changed. I changed."

She opened her eyes and looked straight at him.

"You changed me. You made me want that child more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. So I made a deal. Raven couldn't have a child, but Rachel could."

"And the DNA?"

She looked at Cyborg and smiled.

"Rachel is the person I would have been, if my mother hadn't given herself to Trigon. No powers. No titans. Just an ordinary teenage mother."

The room fell silence. Raven looked at Beast Boy once more.

"But why didn't you say anything?"

"What could I have said? That I was leaving? I couldn't. For Logan I could say goodbye to everyone else, but not you. Even if I did leave. Goodbye has always been the hard part of going."

Raven walked over, and was now just inched from him. He could feel how his body urged him to touch her. Hold her. Love her. She looked down, as did he.

"But it's over now. She's gone. But I don't regret the time I spent with her."

Her voice drew thick. The room shook, and as he placed his arms around her she broke down and cried.

"It's not fair."

"I know Rae."

"I love her. I love her so much."

He just cradled her as he whispered kind words in her ear. The pain in their friends' eyes showed they felt with them.

"Why can't I have her?"

"I don't know."

"It's not fair."

It killed him to hear how sad she was. To hear her cry and know there was nothing he could do. He hated it when people were sad.

"Please bring Logan back. Please."

Suddenly the room lit up. Everyone turned and looked at the source of the light. The woman didn't shine, like Raven had done, but she was the source of all the light. She had long hair and in her arms…

"Logan."

Raven opened her arms and gently took the child handed to her.

"But the deal?"

"No more deal."

"But…"

"No buts. She's not the daughter of Rachel and Alex. She's the daughter of Raven and Beast Boy. With what that include. Don't forget that."

The woman smiled and looked from the mother and daughter to Beast Boy. She had the greenest eyes he had ever met.

"Bye."

Then she left, and all the lights went out. But still in the total darkness he could sense his daughter sleeping and the woman he loved finally smiling again.


	7. Alt chapter 5

"Can you repeat that?"

"Rachel and Raven are not the same persons, thou they are similar, so I would guess a cousin or something like that. Rae always said her looks came from her mother, and we don't…"

"Get on with it."

"Rachel is Logan's mother."

"And Beast Boy is the father?"

Cyborg nodded. Robin had to sit down on the closest bed as he looked at the four DNA streams on the computer. Rachel, Raven, Logan and Beast Boy.

"So Beast Boy is the reason Logan is sick."

"Hello, that's not the issue, Beast Boy, our Beast Boy, is Logan's father."

"I guess we have to talk to him."

"You think?"

Robin looked at him, and Cyborg calmed down. Robin sighed before talking up the communicator.

"Beast Boy."

"…"

"Beast Boy!"

"I'm up. Who? What?"

"Med bay. Now."

"Now?"

"Now."

He closed the communicator, before sighing again.

"I really wish Raven was here now."

"You're not the only one."

It took twenty minutes before Beast Boy was placed in the med bay, finally wakening up.

"Whom have you slept with?"

"What?"

Beast Boy just looked like a question mark. Cyborg was sitting on the chair, not saying a word. Robin was standing a few feet away, looking directly at him.

"How many girls have you had sex with?"

"That's really none of your business."

The hostility between Beast Boy and Robin grew.

"How many"

"One. Raven."

"And you are sure."

Beast Boy got to his feet.

"Yes I'm sure."

"You were pretty lost when Rae vanished B."

Cyborg just looked at his friend.

"You drank a lot, and maybe you slept with someone and don't remember"

"I'm sure. I have only slept with one person in my life, Raven. What is going on?"

Robin and Cyborg looked at one another before Robin sighed.

"You are Logan's father."

"What?"

"You share DNA identical with Logan, proving you are her father."

Beast Boy sat down, clearly confused. Robin and Cyborg feel sorry for him.

"How?"

"As Cy said, you were quite lost after Raven… left. And Rachel does look like her."

"I have not had sex with Rach."

"How can you know? Most afternoons you'd get here and couldn't tell us where you had been or even how you got home. You would go and be away for days. You really think it's not possible you slept with Rachel and don't remember it?"

Beast Boy looked down on the floor, desperately trying to find something, anything, that would seem right. Logical. He cursed himself for not being smarter, and wanted Raven to come back so she could explain things for him. He looked up.

"If I had sex with Rachel, how come she didn't tell us? Or me?"

"Maybe she doesn't know, maybe she honestly believes her boyfriend is the father."

"But if she and I had sex, shouldn't she remember?"

"You don't."

Beast Boy rose.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to think."

They both nodded and didn't try to stop him as he walked out of the room.

He didn't go to his rock.

All of the titans had their own place. A sanctuary they went to when they were upset or angry. Starfire had the mall, Cyborg the garage, Robin the gym and he had his rock. Everyone thought Raven had her room. She didn't.

The door opened and to his surprise walked Raven out on the roof. Again he was struck about how beautiful she looked in the blue dress. She looked up and seemed surprised to find someone there, but not displeased.

"_Hiding?"_

"_Just getting some fresh air. You?"_

"_These shoes are killing me."_

_She walked over to the edge and sat down, before bending down and pulling off the high heel shoes. _

"_I'll kill Starfire for forcing them on me."_

"_I think you look good in high heels."_

"_You just like to see me suffer."_

_He laughed and she sighed as she rubbed her red feet._

"_Hey let me that."_

"_I don't know."_

"_Come on, your feet won't be the worst thing I've touched today."_

"_That's what worries me."_

_She gave him a small smile, and he sat down by her feet and started to rub then. She made a sigh of pleasure. He smiled. _

"_Besides it's nice to see you taller than me, again."_

"_Actually I'm just happy you finally surpassed me. I was getting annoyed about how you always measured us against one another. One more inch Rae. Half an inch now Rae. Azar."_

_They looked at one another, before she just closed her eyes and made another sound of delight. _

"_Where have you learned that?"_

_He shrugged as he went a bit higher. Now working with her slightly swollen ankle. _

"_I'm just a natural I guess."_

"_No wonder girls throw themselves at you."_

_He stopped working, but his hands were still holding her foot. She looked down as he looked up. _

"_Actually, you're my first."_

_They looked at one another in silence. _

"_So are you."_

_He grinned before starting to rub her feet again. _

"_The only thing missing now is the over cheesy romance song."_

_He looked at her before starting to sing, loud. _

"_When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore."_

"_Sorry I said anything."_

"_When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore__"_

_He was suddenly silenced by black energy formed over his mouth._

"_If you have to sing, please sing something else."_

_The energy vanished as he nodded. _

"_Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you'll sing "Vita bella"."_

_She rose and pushed him away. _

"_Oh. You always ruin moments Beast Boy."_

"_So this was a moment?"_

_She rolled her eyes as he, with a gleam, jumped to his feet and swiped her of her feet. _

"_Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay, like a gay tarantella."_

"_Do you want me to hurt you?"_

"_Neagh, you'll never hurt me Rae."_

_She moved her lips close to his ear, pressing her hand against his chest. _

"_I know you're in love with me."_

_He placed her down on her feet, but they were still close. He looked down on the ground. _

"_I should have known you'd figure it out. Everybody else have."_

_He looked at her with a sad grin on his face. _

"_How long?"_

"_I'm empathic. I felt, probably before you did, when you went from loving me, to being in love with me."_

_Her hand rested on his chest, rising and sinking with it._

"_And it was a weird sensation, because it wasn't until I felt your love for me, that I truly realised my own feelings for you."_

"_Rae, please don't tell me how good a friend I am."_

"_But you are a good friend. My best."_

_He sighed. He didn't seem to realise that her hand had company. He looked down, away. _

"_You're my best friend too Rae, and I don't want ruin things between us. So please just forget what I said."_

"_You are so dense."_

_She grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. _

"_Look around you."_

_He did. Hundreds of pebbles, tiny rocks, furniture was flying around them. He looked at her again._

"_Love is a very strong feeling Beast Boy. It can make people do amazing things. Strange things. Like someone not allowed to feel, risking it because it feels so good."_

_It took him a moment to realise what she had said, then he smiled from ear to ear. He swiped her of her feet again. Swinging her around._

"_When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fagiole, that's amore. When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet, you're in love. When you walk down in a dream, but you know you're not, Dreaming signori."_

"_Oh shut up."_

_He wiggled his eyebrow up and down. _

"_Make me."_

_Suddenly his mouth was covered in black magic. Raven jumped out of his arms, grabbed her shoes before walking inside, quickly followed by a still dumb Beast Boy._

"Here you are."

Beast Boy looked over his shoulder as Starfire came out on the roof. She sat down next to him on the edge, oddly calm to be her.

"We have been doing the looking for you."

"He woke you?"

"It is almost morning."

Beast Boy looked at the sea and to his surprise had the sun gone up without him realising it.

"They told you?"

She nodded. He sighed and pulled his fingers trough his hair.

"I still don't realise how this happened."

"Apparently you can get pregnant without the father knowing here?"

"It's not like that on Tameran?"

She shook her head.

"Having a child is a mutual experience shared between two people."

"You kind of need two people here on earth too, but that doesn't mean you remember it afterwards."

"I would have thought that was something you would remember."

"So did I."

They sat in silence for a while. Listening to the waves was up on the shore fare below them.

"I miss Raven. I miss her so much."

Starfire placed a kind hand on his arm.

"You are not the only one friend Beast Boy."

She got no response, so she moved her hand.

"But you need to talk to friend Rachel."

"Why?"

"Because Logan is your offspring."

Beast Boy looked once more at the sea, before sighing.

"I guess you're right."

He rose.

"And friend Beast Boy, be nice."

"I'm always nice Star."

Starfire didn't smile back.


	8. Alt chapter 5 part II

"How is she?"

Rachel looked up at the man in the door before looking at her child again.

"Better."

The room was hot, and had a thick medicine smell over it. It made him want to vomit.

"Are you the reason she's sick?"

"Most likely."

"How?"

She wasn't looking at him, and yet she was studying his ever move.

"I…"

"How can you come back knowing you might have killed her?"

Rachel bent over and grabbed her daughter's hand.

"She's turning green. Will she be as green as you? Will she be able to morph? Will she get the other children sick too? Will she die?"

Beast Boy walked over and sat down in the chair opposite her.

"I don't know."

He looked over at the girl. Now that he knew, she actually looked like him. She had his nose, her ears were slightly pointed and she was turning green.

"Rach, Cy took a test on Logan and…"

She looked up at him.

"What?"

"There was something about her father you should know."

"Alex? What?"

Beast Boy looked at her.

"Alex isn't her father."

"What? Of course he is."

"Rach…"

"No listen Beast Boy, you are stepping over the line."

Beast Boy sighed, but he didn't let Rachel look away.

"Alex isn't Logan's father. I am."

She laughed. Then she realised he wasn't laughing with her. She stopped laughing and became angry.

"Get out."

"I'm not joking."

"Neither is I. Get out before I hurt you."

Rachel rose, as did Beast Boy.

"You would never hurt me Rae."

"My name is Rachel Roth, her name is Logan Roth Markson, and her father is Alexander Logan Markson."

"No it's not."

They just looked at one another.

"Her father is in Africa. Her father left."

"Her father is standing right here."

She turned and pushed the buzzer. A lady came in. Beast Boy hadn't seen her before.

"Please ask the doctor to come."

"Okay? Is everything all right?"

"It will be. Just get the doctor."

The nurse left.

"Okay Beast Boy. I'll get the doctor to take a paternity test, and when he tells you you're not the father, I want you and your friends to leave me and my daughter alone."

The doctor came and Rachel quickly explained the situation. He went away and came back two minutes later and swabbed Beast Boy, then left again. Rachel sat down and grabbed Logan's hand. Looking at her, and only her.

"Why didn't you just kick me out?"

"Because you don't listen to reason, and you don't leave people alone just like that. I hope by proving to you that you're not the father, you can leave us alone."

"If I'm not the father, I will."

Silence. He sat down. Looking from Logan to Rachel and back again.

"Just one thing."

"What?"

"Don't take hating me out on Starfire. She really likes hanging out with you, and it would break her heart if you refused to see her again."

Rachel bit the inside of her lower lip. Beast Boy wouldn't have noticed if it hadn't been something Raven used to do when she was upset.

"Of course not. But for Logan's sake, and mine, I need you to stay away."

"If Logan's not mine. I will."

It killed him to say that.

--

"And you are sure? These test are secure."

"99.99"

"So we still have 0.01."

"I ran it three times."

Rachel sat down on the chair and her hand went to her mouth.

"I'll leave you two alone."

Then the doctor ran out.

It was getting dark and the only light was the yellow pear in the ceiling.

"I still want you to leave us alone."

"What?"

"I want you to leave me and my daughter alone."

"Our daughter Rach."

Rachel turned and looked at him.

"My daughter. You didn't know about her, or me, before you saved Cassie and me."

"She is still mine. She might have powers, have you thought of that, and I can teach her how to control them."

"I haven't thought of anything. I still don't understand how it's possible that she is yours. I haven't slept with anyone but Alex."

"And I haven't slept with anyone but Rae."

They looked at one another, before she suddenly rose.

"Don't say it."

"What? There is still a possibility that…"

"I'm not Raven."

She was screaming, then it became dark. The lights had gone. But Beast Boy didn't need much light to see. Before Rachel could understand what had happened, he was standing next to her. Holding her arms.

"Yes you are. You have to be. I don't know why you don't know me, or why the DNA don't match, but you are Raven. I know it."

There was something mad about him and as a car light penetrated the window and landed on his eyes, became Rachel scared. She started to try and fight him off, but she couldn't.

"Come on Rae, you're stronger than me. A better fighter. You can easily beat me to a pulp if you wanted to."

"I'm not Raven."

"Whom are you hiding from?"

"I'm not hiding. Please let me go."

Suddenly he broke down. He fell to his knees, still clutching her hands. Crying.

"Remember me Rae. Please. Remember me. Please make me feel normal again. Please give food taste. Fire heat. Music sound. Please love me the way only you can love me, for only you can look past the animals and find the man. Please. I can't do this without you. I can't live without you."

She felt flushed. Her heart was beating fast and loud. Almost drowning out his crying. Her skin was pricking, and she felt dizzy and strong.

"Please. Please. Please."

"Oh Beast Boy."

She fell to her knees, like him.

"My poor Beast Boy."

He looked up at her. She was glowing. It was like she had turned into pure light. He looked into her eyes. Light. His hands went up her suddenly smooth arms, before landing at her chest. There was no heartbeat.

"Raven?"

"Soon."

She gave him a small smile. He couldn't breath. He couldn't think. He couldn't anything, but process that information.

She was back.

Raven was back.

He smiled as new tears formed in his eyes, as he tried to take all of her in at once.

"I told everyone you were Raven."

Raven's smile saddened as she grabbed his hands and forced them down.

"I was, and I wasn't."

"I don't care, I have you back. That's the only thing that matters."

"Bea"

He cut her of by kissing her. Wrapping his arms around her, forcing her body against his. Carefully she placed her own arms around his neck and kissed him back. They pulled away.

"Beast Boy you don't"

The room lit up, making Raven's light feel dark. Her face showed fear as she rose and looked at something. Beast Boy rose quickly too.

The figure was glowing as Raven, only much brighter. It looked like a woman. She was standing over Logan.

"No."

"You knew Raven."

"Leave her out of this."

Raven was trembling as the creature reached down and grabbed the sleeping child off the bed.

"Let her go."

Suddenly the light Raven was exhuming was replaced by darkness, and she shot a beam towards the light woman. She looked up and Raven was pushed against the wall. Beast Boy tried to react, as Raven had, but found himself unable to move.

"Please don't take her."

Raven was crying, but didn't pry her eyes of them.

"You knew."

Then they were gone. Beast Boy suddenly found himself able to move and he ran towards the hall.

"It's useless."

He turned to Raven, who had stopped glowing, and ran to her side as she sank to the floor. Tears running down her cheeks, the room shaking.

"She's gone."

"Raven it'll be okay."

She looked at him, and the pain in her eyes was unlike anything he had ever seen. He suddenly felt like he would do anything to make it go away.

"Why couldn't you just have left us alone?"


	9. Alt chapter 6

"Raven, look at me."

Raven's gaze wondered slightly to look at him for a second, before turning again towards the sea. Beast Boy wanted to cry, but he just slowly rose.

"I'll be inside, okay? If there is anything, anything, even something small and unimportant, just call. Okay?"

Nothing.

Beast Boy turned as the tears became too much and forced themselves out. He slowly went to the roof door, not breathing, hoping, praying she would call out his name. Say something. But she didn't, and he opened the door and sulked his way down.

"How is she?"

Starfire flew up and towards him as he entered the common room. Both Robin and Cyborg looked his way too, equally curious.

"Nothing."

He sat down and buried his face in his hands. He was used to ruin her life, but he knew he had really done it this time.

He heard a cup be placed on the table and looked the coffee Starfire had just given him.

"Thank you."

The three other titans shared a look, before Robin spoke.

"We've called Cassie."

Beast Boy's face hardened. He hated thinking about Rachel, and the life Raven had lived without him.

"What can she do?"

"We don't know, but maybe something. Something we can't do."

Cyborg sat down next to him.

"It's been a week B. Raven's sick, she's not eating, she won't talk to anyone. If Cassie can help her we owe it to Raven to try it."

"We owe Raven nothing."

Beast Boy rose. Angry. At himself. At Cassie. At Raven, Cyborg, everyone and everything.

The doorbell rang, and everyone looked at the door. After a few seconds with no one doing anything, flew Starfire through the door, down the hall and to the door. Letting Cassie in.

--

Beast Boy looked at the two women talking. They had been talking the last five hours. He was standing in the doorway leading to the roof, his head resting on the frame. He hated them. He hated that he couldn't hate them.

"She looks better."

Robin came up behind him, he too looking at the two women.

"I guess."

"I think you are pretty selfish now."

Beast Boy started to yell.

"Selfish. I'm selfish? After everything she put me through, everything she has done. I'm selfish? But of course you would stick up for her. You always do."

Robin's voice was calm, but his eyes vibrated with anger.

"She's my friend Beast Boy, I would die for her. Like I would for you. And she's just lost a child, she has the right to be upset."

"And I don't? In case you hadn't noticed Robin, I lost a child too you know."

"But you didn't know her. Raven did. And keep your voice down."

He looked at the women, and first now realised Beast Boy they were looking at them. Raven had tears in her eyes, and as their eyes met she looked away. He turned his back to her.

"I'll be in my room."

Then he stampede off.

--

He was looking up at his ceiling and the pictures he had fastened there. All had Raven in them. There were cutouts of the newspapers. Pictures taken at events and pictures he had secretly taken of her. Including one were she was looking at the camera, after he had promised the camera didn't have film. He lied.

A small smile formed on his lips.

"_Beast Boy I've told you. No pictures."_

"_But I want a picture of my girlfriend. Isn't that reasonable?"_

"_You must have enough pictures to fill every wall of your room by now."_

"_Not yet, but I will."_

After she had…gone, the first six months. He couldn't look at them without crying. Then the crying went inwards and turned into a lump in his chest. Threatening to suffocate him.

He had always thought if she came back, then the lump would go away. He would be happy again.

But all he wanted to do was cry.

The smile vanished.

For the Raven that was sitting on the roof, wasn't the same Raven that was trying to not be photographed.

This Raven was a mother. A mother who had lost her cub.

He knew some people didn't believe animals mourn when they lose someone, but he knew it to be different. Especially when it came to mother and child. He knew Raven had every right to be sad.

He just wished she wasn't.

He just wished he didn't feel loss over this girl he barley knew.

Someone knocked on the door. He didn't move. The door opened and he could smell Robin from across the room.

"You better come."

"Why?"

"She's in the common room."

Beast Boy rose; hit his head, before falling back to the bed. He closed his eyes and let out a yell, before trying again. This time getting out of bed.

Quietly they walked down the hall and as he opened the door she looked up and for the first time in ages held his stare.

"Hello Beast Boy."

Her voice, it was so similar to the voice she had before they became an issue. Before the dance, and his stupid song, and her saying she loved him back.

But he could tell that if she had been allowed, she would have cried.

"I owe you an explanation."

"You think?"

He didn't care that Robin hit him in the back. That Cyborg shook his head, that Starfire gasped, and Cassie looked like she would kill him. He only cared that in Raven's eyes pure pain could be shown for a moment. It broke his heart, but not his appearance.

"I guess I deserved that."

He didn't answer.

"Okay. Logan is your daughter."

"Yeah, we've established that."

"Don't be short at me Beast Boy. I didn't know I could be pregnant until I sat in the doctor's office. To be honest I thought it not to be possible."

He softened, but tried not to. Raven took a step forward, still looking at him.

"I would have lost her, if I hadn't done what I did. And do you know what? I would have done it again."

He hated arguing with her since she never showed her emotions and just rationally debated him until his head hurt and everything he once believed was proven false. But this time he wouldn't let himself lose. He wanted answers. She continued.

"I knew you wanted children."

"I never said that."

"No. Not in those words, but I knew. And please don't insult my intelligence by denying that."

She looked down, and he could tell she was losing control.

"It killed me. Knowing you wanted something I couldn't give you. I hated it when you started to talk about our future together, because it involved things that couldn't be."

Her cup shook and she placed it down on the table. Breathing slowly with closed eyes.

"And then it happened. I got pregnant. And something changed. I changed."

She opened her eyes and looked straight at him.

"You changed me. You made me want that child more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. So I made a deal. Raven couldn't have a child, but Rachel could."

"And the DNA?"

She looked at Cyborg and smiled.

"Rachel is the person I would have been, if my mother hadn't given herself to Trigon. No powers. No titans. Just an ordinary teenage mother."

The room fell silence.

"Whom did you make the deal with?"

Raven looked at Robin, surprised by the question, and yet like she knew it would come.

"Azarath is gone, and the people there turned into phantoms. But the power they have is still lurking over the place. In them. It was a phantom who took Logan."

She looked at Beast Boy once more.

"But why didn't you say anything?"

"What could I have said? That I was leaving? I couldn't. For Logan I could say goodbye to everyone else, but not you. Even if I did leave. Goodbye has always been the hard part of going."

Raven walked over, and was now just inched from him. He could feel how his body urged him to touch her. Hold her. Love her. She looked down, as did he.

"But it's over now. She's gone. But I don't regret the time I spent with her."

Her voice drew thick. The room shook, and as he placed his arms around her she broke down and cried.

"It's not fair."

"I know Rae."

"I love her. I love her so much."

He just cradled her as he whispered kind words in her ear. The pain in their friends' eyes showed they felt with them.

"Why can't I have her?"

"I don't know."

"It's not fair."

It killed him to hear how sad she was. To hear her cry and know there was nothing he could do. He hated it when people were sad.

"Please bring her back. Please."

Suddenly the room lit up. Everyone turned and looked at the source of the light. The woman didn't shine, like Raven had done, but she was the source of all the light. She had long hair and in her arms…

"Logan."

Raven opened her arms and gently took the child handed to her.

"But the deal?"

"No more deal."

"But…"

"No buts. She's not the daughter of Rachel and Alex. She's the daughter of Raven and Beast Boy. With what that include. Don't forget that."

The woman smiled and looked from the mother and daughter to Beast Boy. She had the greenest eyes he had ever met.

"Bye."

Then she left, and all the lights went out. But still in the total darkness he could sense his daughter sleeping and the woman he loved finally smiling again.


End file.
